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Post by markelt on Sept 14, 2011 12:49:00 GMT 1
The only thing that keeps me going some days is the thought that there is an extra circle of hell reserved for the furry titcakes that say this.
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brispie
Andy Booth Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 3,386
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Post by brispie on Sept 14, 2011 12:49:38 GMT 1
I was just about to start another rant, but maybe it's just one rant running into another.
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Post by markelt on Sept 19, 2011 14:48:35 GMT 1
Do you know what? The only thing nearly as bad as Stoke losing is trying to find some rational argument between Stoke fans as to how it happened.
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Bernie
Jimmy Glazzard Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 4,322
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Post by Bernie on Sept 19, 2011 15:37:32 GMT 1
Apropos things people say that make you want to punch them in the face OVER AND OVER AND OVER again until the only sounds in the room are soft, squelching thuds, a bubbling noise and the sound of one's own laboured breathing, since when did "in future" or "next" become "going forward"?
I had a meeting with 6 (SIX) "interaction designers" this morning, all of whom had silly "alternative" hairstyles and apple fuckPads who spent an hour spouting idiocy like "harmonise the proposition going forward" ("Make it look the same in future") and then expect me to program something concrete from their contradictory, vague, constantly changing bag of shit requirements. Fucking "B" Arkers to a (wo)man.
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ab
Andy Booth Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 3,001 
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Post by ab on Sept 20, 2011 9:59:00 GMT 1
I'm struggling to think of an awagger who isn't pre-booked onto the B Ark. Ralph is the most likely one as he actually has some useful skills. For the rest of us the question is not whether we'll be on the B Ark but whether they'd program the stasis chambers to revive us on landing or not.
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Bernie
Jimmy Glazzard Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 4,322
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Post by Bernie on Sept 20, 2011 10:30:19 GMT 1
Speak for yourself. You can bet the people who built the "B" Ark weren't placed on it, and that would have been people like me (and possible young Daniel). So that's three of us. ( I can do my own plumbing, thanks )
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Post by markelt on Sept 20, 2011 10:50:31 GMT 1
Yes, but what would you do in deep space without Wikipedia? How would you bluff it?
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Bernie
Jimmy Glazzard Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 4,322
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Post by Bernie on Sept 20, 2011 11:03:36 GMT 1
Eh?
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ab
Andy Booth Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 3,001
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Post by ab on Sept 20, 2011 11:14:13 GMT 1
Speak for yourself. You can bet the people who built the "B" Ark weren't placed on it, and that would have been people like me (and possible young Daniel). So that's three of us. ( I can do my own plumbing, thanks ) You reckon you'd be more likely to be building the Ark than going on it? They might bring you guys in to develop some multimedia functionality, but only so as to distract you from the fact that you would be going on board (just a little bit of testing needed before launch, yes, lie down in there to see whether the user experience fits your design brief...), thereby preventing you from making a fuss about it. Your ability to sail and do bits of DIY would probably be enough to make sure that someone might defrost you. |
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Bernie
Jimmy Glazzard Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 4,322
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Post by Bernie on Sept 20, 2011 11:24:58 GMT 1
Mos' def.
My skill set would hopefully ensure I got something a bit more specialised in the comms or hardware department. Machines talking to machines, that sort of thing. And not an asymmetric haircut or "user story" in sight.
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Post by Solihull Terrier on Sept 20, 2011 12:08:20 GMT 1
'Value proposition' is the annoying one doing the rounds at my place. Just say you want to change the price and be done with it.
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Post by markelt on Sept 20, 2011 13:03:23 GMT 1
Even then you have to wonder whether the idea is fully scalable.
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Post by turtle on Sept 20, 2011 14:55:46 GMT 1
It would be mutually benificial I feel if we could engage with one another on a personal level.
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Post by Solihull Terrier on Sept 20, 2011 16:56:05 GMT 1
We should certainly be trying to leverage that.
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leonie
Juvenile Terrier
Posts: 24 
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Post by leonie on Sept 20, 2011 19:53:11 GMT 1
"Take control in a friendly manner" - don't start anything this time Leonie
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Post by pttrmusdf on Sept 21, 2011 14:25:24 GMT 1
'blue sky', 'ball park' and 'band-aid solution'.
The trick is to chuck in some inane words of your own like 'sand paper', 'bottle opener' and 'shuttlecock'
If you really want to confuse people then try 'put the bunny back in the box'
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Post by e17hoop on Sept 21, 2011 22:53:59 GMT 1
"Traction".
Shudder.
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Post by parapsych on Sept 21, 2011 23:54:30 GMT 1
LOONIE
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Post by Wizaard on Sept 22, 2011 15:49:10 GMT 1
When a meeting has really descended into technical jargon and bolloxspeak, I always throw in "Has anyone consulted with PCGB?"
Someone will always claim to have done so, despite it being made up by me.
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gymmers
Iain Dunn Terrier
[M0:17]
Posts: 545
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Post by gymmers on Sept 27, 2011 2:43:59 GMT 1
Somebody at a meeting the other day started talking about 'eating the elephant in the room'. I was convinced he was having a psychotic episode
He said something about mothers and cakes too, but ny then, I was too scared to listen anymore
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