Will_75
Jimmy Nicholson Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 1,404
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Post by Will_75 on Jun 10, 2011 14:45:16 GMT 1
what would you of* done?
Part One:
Having two young kids at homeI don't get out much of an evening, but last night I did plan to meet a mate for a few cold ales in a local boozer.
I was in a right good mood having done bathtime, put them to bed, changed out of my suit and kissed the wife goodnight.
I was in a good mood until, on the way to the pub I saw two lads coming the other way intent on making eye contact.
Fuck's sake was my initial though, so I just kept my eyes on a point far ahead and kept walking. They can't have been older than 18, and considering this was Worcester and I've been mugged at knifepoint by two angry Nigerians in deepest Hackney, not the scariest of propositions, but still, I really wanted to go for a beer, have a laugh, chew the fat and go home. Without any trouble.
Inevitably the bigger of the two stepped half into my path and dropped his shoulder.
I carried on walking but swung my body out of the way ensuring he totally missed me, and lost his footing altogher, doing that trip/hop thing you do when you don't see a kerb coming. He looked a bit of a twat to be honest. Well I imagine he did, as I never looked back, just kept on walking and turned into the pub.
I was half expecting them to come in, but they never did, nor did they bother hanging round. Good job, as I was nursing the Talisker past closing time
Part Two:
Equally inevitably, my mate (who only lives round the corner) was half a fucking hour late. More surprisingly, a not unattractive young lady plonked herself down beside me, and with more than a hint of a slur (this at 8pm) told me how much she liked my glasses, asked if I was straight, and told me she'd been stood up too.
Despite my protestations that my mate genuinely was on the way she refused to fuck off, asking me if I thought she was mad or just fun... Joy.
When I said she couldn't have my phone number, and at the exact point my mate arrived she leaned into me, took her tits in her hands and waggled them in my face, announcing "I've got juice"
This did something to restore my good mood I have to admit, and we did manage to convince her to call a taxi and go home for her own safety (this after she'd tried to follow me into the gents).
I must go out more often if this is what it's like.
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Post by denby on Jun 10, 2011 15:30:26 GMT 1
is that because you ordered a half? [/obv] i wonder what juice she had, i like pineapple |
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Will_75
Jimmy Nicholson Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 1,404
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Post by Will_75 on Jun 10, 2011 16:05:05 GMT 1
i'm thinking maybe i should have tried to find out.
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Post by denby on Jun 10, 2011 16:31:51 GMT 1
what happens in the gents, stays in the gents
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owlie
Iain Dunn Terrier
[M0:2]
Posts: 526
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Post by owlie on Jun 11, 2011 15:03:27 GMT 1
what happens in the gents, stays in the gents George Michael used to believe that too.
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Post by GroveR on Jun 13, 2011 13:16:27 GMT 1
Five years ago:
Part one - dropped the pair of them
Part two - tried for a blowie in the bogs
Now:
Part one - crossed the road
Part two - bored her to tears with photos/clips of the little fella doing cute stuff on my phone
Fuck I'm boring.
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ralph2
Jimmy Nicholson Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 1,423
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Post by ralph2 on Jun 13, 2011 13:19:52 GMT 1
Five years ago: Part one - dropped the pair of them Part two - tried for a blowie in the bogs Now: Part one - crossed the road Part two - bored her to tears with photos/clips of the little fella doing cute stuff on my phone Fuck I'm boring. ;D You'd have banged them out O'Grove, no doubt. |
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Post by Plan Bee on Jun 13, 2011 14:31:12 GMT 1
red her to tears with photos/clips of the little fella doing cute stuff on my phone A lot depends on which little fella you're referring to |
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Will_75
Jimmy Nicholson Terrier
[M0:0]
Posts: 1,404
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Post by Will_75 on Jun 14, 2011 9:40:56 GMT 1
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