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Post by markelt on Jun 14, 2011 11:38:55 GMT 1
Fuck fuck fucketing fuckwittery.
I hate this every year. All these fucking c**** who spend the rest of the year arguing there's too much sport and too few fucking antiques and makeover and chat shows on the fucking telly now emerge to support fucking Tim or whatever his name is, make 'jokes' about the price of fucking strawberries, how hard it is to get hold of tickets, drink fucking Pimms (quite nice actually) and reminisce happily about the time Cliff Bastard Richards fucked the corpse of rock and roll that he'd helped to kill up the fucking arse, Sue Barker, Clare bloody Balding, and those fucking c**** on Breakfast News jibbering on about it all in their own fucking private clubby way, what a fucking card that Bill is, what's he fucking like?
Fuck off.
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Post by markelt on Jun 14, 2011 11:41:53 GMT 1
Oh yeah. And Mexican waves? Fuck off.
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Bernie
Jimmy Glazzard Terrier
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Post by Bernie on Jun 14, 2011 12:04:18 GMT 1
COME ON TIMMY!
There's always the "off" switch, you know.
Wimbledon, for me, is inextricably linked in a Proustian sort of way to those last couple of weeks before the endless summer holiday, coming home from school (after being trapped in a sweatbox of a 1960's bus with no aircon) of an afternoon to a temperate living room, windows open, net curtains oscillating gently in the breeze and the sound of Dan Maskell ejaculating "Ooh I say!" after sighting some particularly impressive balls.
As sports go, it's pretty shit though. But not as bad as handball.
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Post by Admin on Jun 14, 2011 12:07:49 GMT 1
I bet on tennis every day pretty much for my living. Try watching fucking Dolgopolov v Fognini in some shit qualifier in Albania or some other godforsaken shithole every day. Then when the good stuff comes on I dont want to watch it as people who dont even like tennis queue up for 10 hours to go sit on murrays mound.
Crock of shit.
/me watches the azerbaijan challenger event instead...
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Post by denby on Jun 14, 2011 12:21:10 GMT 1
There's always the "off" switch, you know. /pratchett
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Post by markelt on Jun 14, 2011 12:33:44 GMT 1
COME ON TIMMY! There's always the "off" switch, you know. Wimbledon, for me, is inextricably linked in a Proustian sort of way to those last couple of weeks before the endless summer holiday, coming home from school (after being trapped in a sweatbox of a 1960's bus with no aircon) of an afternoon to a temperate living room, windows open, net curtains oscillating gently in the breeze and the sound of Dan Maskell ejaculating "Ooh I say!" after sighting some particularly impressive balls. As sports go, it's pretty shit though. But not as bad as handball. There should be a sporting calendar for people who don't like sport. Boat Race, Wimbledon, Grand National, Ascot and every four years The Olympics. That's how it would go. Coverage hosted by Clare Balding and 24 hour rolling news with the BBC Breakfast Team in new hats and morning suits, joshing around with Carol and Bill.
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Post by markelt on Jun 14, 2011 12:34:42 GMT 1
:comp: There's always the "off" switch, you know. /pratchett Oi Bernie Now there's a comment worth acknowledging, you ghastly Welsh shortarse troglodyte
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Bernie
Jimmy Glazzard Terrier
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Posts: 4,322
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Post by Bernie on Jun 14, 2011 12:43:06 GMT 1
Now you're just being a twat, fatty.
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Post by markelt on Jun 14, 2011 12:46:20 GMT 1
It's the foundation of all that is AWAG.
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brispie
Andy Booth Terrier
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Posts: 3,386
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Post by brispie on Jun 14, 2011 13:43:50 GMT 1
Fucking tennis. Now I'd watch that.
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Will_75
Jimmy Nicholson Terrier
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Post by Will_75 on Jun 14, 2011 14:01:07 GMT 1
you can add the world cup to the list mark. and to a point, the six nations.
i really don't know how you can stick bbc breakfast though. i even find "today" a little too chirpy at times.
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Post by markelt on Jun 14, 2011 14:50:00 GMT 1
I don't watch it any more. It wasn't worth it and I don't have sith's interest in fat ankled mumsy presenters.
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Post by turtle on Jun 14, 2011 15:28:08 GMT 1
You'll be overjoyed to hear Elt that this week's sports presenter is worser than sports billy. I'm still convincing myself he's Chris Morris in some sort of elaborate disguise and that nobody can be that much of a c*** but I suspect this c***'s real.
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Post by GroveR on Jun 15, 2011 10:44:01 GMT 1
Wimbledon should be sponsored by the Daily Mail and Balding is Queen Cankle.
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Post by basilrobbiereborn on Jun 15, 2011 15:05:53 GMT 1
The one who creases me is Andrew Castle, blethering on about what it's like to be "in the zone". He must have learned all about that when winning a hard court tournament in South Korea or Georgia or wherever it was. The only time he ever made it anywhere near winning a major was when he was paired with a woman who won all the bloody points for him.
That said, one of the joys of retirement is the ability to follow this sporting epic from the start ; watching the knowledgeable crowd pretending to be interested in the first game up on Centre Court when you know they are all salivating at the prospect of Murray beating some Ecuadorian immediately after.
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Post by njkk on Jun 15, 2011 17:52:40 GMT 1
whilst we're having a vent can I just mention that golf is a game that is watched, played and for(e) c****, also see Horse of the Cunting Year Cunting Show as well, Crufts can fuck right off along with Ski Fucking Sunday.
Antiques shows are fine though
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Fenton
Iain Dunn Terrier
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Post by Fenton on Jun 15, 2011 20:43:57 GMT 1
The one who creases me is Andrew Castle, blethering on about what it's like to be "in the zone". He must have learned all about that when winning a hard court tournament in South Korea or Georgia or wherever it was. The only time he ever made it anywhere near winning a major was when he was paired with a woman who won all the bloody points for him. I think his career highlight was nearly beating Mats Wilander in the second round of Wimbledon sometime in the early/mid 80s (I think it might have been 1985 but I can't be arsed to look it up)
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Post by Admin on Jun 15, 2011 21:06:39 GMT 1
whilst we're having a vent can I just mention that golf is a game that is watched, played and for(e) c****, also see Horse of the Cunting Year Cunting Show as well, Crufts can fuck right off along with Ski Fucking Sunday. Antiques shows are fine though Fuck off. I watch and play golf regularly and I'm not a fucking cu.... Oh...
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Post by popterriertastic on Jun 15, 2011 23:02:21 GMT 1
COME ON TIMMY! There's always the "off" switch, you know. Wimbledon, for me, is inextricably linked in a Proustian sort of way to those last couple of weeks before the endless summer holiday, coming home from school (after being trapped in a sweatbox of a 1960's bus with no aircon) of an afternoon to a temperate living room, windows open, net curtains oscillating gently in the breeze and the sound of Dan Maskell ejaculating "Ooh I say!" after sighting some particularly impressive balls. As sports go, it's pretty shit though. But not as bad as handball. There should be a sporting calendar for people who don't like sport. Boat Race, Wimbledon, Grand National, Ascot and every four years The Olympics. That's how it would go. Coverage hosted by Clare Balding and 24 hour rolling news with the BBC Breakfast Team in new hats and morning suits, joshing around with Carol and Bill. can I sit next to you at the Galpharm please? I'm loving this thread. Can i throw in horse jumping, swimming and late night poker as my list of gash sports which need banning!
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Post by popterriertastic on Jun 15, 2011 23:12:47 GMT 1
And can we bring back 'it a knock out?'
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Post by denby on Jun 16, 2011 7:49:32 GMT 1
can we bring back apostrophe's*
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Post by Wizaard on Jun 20, 2011 15:27:15 GMT 1
:handbags: COME ON TIMMY! There's always the "off" switch, you know. Wimbledon, for me, is inextricably linked in a Proustian sort of way to those last couple of weeks before the endless summer holiday, coming home from school (after being trapped in a sweatbox of a 1960's bus with no aircon) of an afternoon to a temperate living room, windows open, net curtains oscillating gently in the breeze and the sound of Dan Maskell ejaculating "Ooh I say!" after sighting some particularly impressive balls. As sports go, it's pretty shit though. But not as bad as handball. There should be a sporting calendar for people who don't like sport. Boat Race, Wimbledon, Grand National, Ascot and every four years The Olympics. That's how it would go. Coverage hosted by Clare Balding and 24 hour rolling news with the BBC Breakfast Team in new hats and morning suits, joshing around with Carol and Bill. There is a sporting calendar like that. It's called the BBC Sport team's bid. I seem to pay more and more for my license for less and less sport. That shite just about covers it.
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owlie
Iain Dunn Terrier
[M0:2]
Posts: 526
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Post by owlie on Jun 20, 2011 15:30:50 GMT 1
Thank god for Formula 1.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2011 16:12:15 GMT 1
I bet on tennis every day pretty much for my living. Try watching fucking Dolgopolov v Fognini in some shit qualifier in Albania or some other godforsaken shithole every day. Then when the good stuff comes on I dont want to watch it as people who dont even like tennis queue up for 10 hours to go sit on murrays mound. Crock of shit. /me watches the azerbaijan challenger event instead... I'm glad it's not just me. Makes me laugh how these middle class nobs couldn't give a monkey's about the sport for the other 50 weeks of the year. The come Wimbledon they're all out, wearing their Union Flag themed clothing. Why does it need to be on both BBC 1 and 2 at the same time?
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brispie
Andy Booth Terrier
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Post by brispie on Jun 20, 2011 16:23:46 GMT 1
My childhood sporting calendar:
Early January: Darts board out, many a telling off for ruining the wallpaper Late March: 4 foot snooker table in stupidly cramped places such as bedrooms/garages Early April: Riding your bike pretending you are on board West Tip in the National Early June: 1st test of the Summer and the cricket set make an appearance with dustbins for wickets late June: Upturned bikes on the local school netball court as we pretend to be Ivan Lendl. July/August: Any athletics event and suddenly it's a brick for a shot put, a piece of cane for a javelin and round the block for the 800m
All other gaps filled with football. This varied depending on time of year. In the Winter it was pure mud games of either commentating whilst replicating recent games or if there was enough of you, full on games. If there was a Summer tournament we would get 4 of us. Each of us would be a team in a group. One v one with one in goal and the other reffing/commentating.
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merkin
Darren Bullock Terrier
Posts: 878
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Post by merkin on Jun 20, 2011 16:56:01 GMT 1
Given your history..when did you practice fencing?
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brispie
Andy Booth Terrier
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Posts: 3,386
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Post by brispie on Jun 20, 2011 17:09:24 GMT 1
My history of carrying a penknife for 3 months?
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Post by jaymz on Jun 20, 2011 17:31:54 GMT 1
As Greyers sez, Tennis is Cricket for gays.
Golf, if I want a fucking walk after a ball, I'll get a fucking dog.
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merkin
Darren Bullock Terrier
Posts: 878
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Post by merkin on Jun 21, 2011 7:38:20 GMT 1
is Henman out yet
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owlie
Iain Dunn Terrier
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Posts: 526
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Post by owlie on Jun 21, 2011 8:21:30 GMT 1
No, he's still firmly in the closet.
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