You know you're getting old when....

[michelotti]

A poorly researched report on a local news magazine program winds you up to the point where you actively seek out an e-mail address for said program, and then spend the next 30 minutes typing out an e-mail full of froth and bile telling them how shit they are!

[njkk]

I'm getting that way, I do seething then shouting at the telly, do an e-mail then fail to send it.

My last one was when that loghaired twat off flog it said that the National Football Museum was near Liverpool

[skopje]

PROGRAMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's fucking PROGRAMME!!

The other way is a just so, you know, like I'm not joking or anything, but know what I mean?

Don't mean no disrespect like.

Innit.

[michelotti]

im yusally priitty gud at spellin n stuff but i cant nevver remeber wich way to spell program.

Yeah NJKK I'm with you brother. Local news progthingummyjig tonight, dedicated to west Yorkshire, and they reckon Castleford is near fucking Leeds! No it's fucking not!!!!! Not even fucking close!!!! These arrogant c**** think the whole of the north of england revolves around fucking leeds and it fucking doesn't
So there!!!!!

Set of c****!



*Breathes into paper bag*
Nice and slooooowww
There there there
Calm down fella

And










Relax

[JohnnyNeptune]

looks pretty close to me

shurrup moaning

www.yorkshire-flowers.co.uk/images/map_yorkshire.gif

[njkk]

Another thing is bollocking my20 yr old son for doing the same daft things I used to do, as a friend pointed out "if there had been CCTV in our day the cop shops would have been full"

[Paddy_HCFC]

Why doesn't Siths map have East Yorkshire on it?
It's East Yorkshirist is what it is.

[fgrfc_dan]

Castleford is near Leeds, isn't it? I'm pretty sure I've seen signs for it.

[michelotti]

If you look at it from a Yorkshire perspective, then Castleford is near Leeds, From a West Yorkshire perspective (Which is the area the programme was dedicated to, it isn't!) Jesus Christ! we fucking live in West Yorkshire, we know where Castleford is, why do you feel the need to assume we're all thick bastards! And anyway, It's part of Wakefield, so why the fuck don't you say it's near Wakefield?


Grrrrrrrrrr

[turtle]

There can be no doubt that Cas is near Leeds.
Stupid wessies.

[fgrfc_dan]

I went to Wakefield once. Never again.

[njkk]

I've been to wakefield

[turtle]

Has that bomb just gone off near Howden?

[michelotti]

turtlet said:

There can be no doubt that Cas is near Leeds.
Stupid wessies.

Bit like Grimsby being near Hull eh

[michelotti]

paddyhcfc said:

Why doesn't Siths map have East Yorkshire on it?
It's East Yorkshirist is what it is.

Probably because it's not near Leeds, and anyway, aren't you lot still campaining for the reinstatement of the East Riding................or was it North Humberside

[turtle]

Ah good you're ok.
If you had an East Leeds estuary and Cas was in a different country to Leeds then yes.

[CaptainSambuca]

any fool knows that cas vegas is just down the road from ponte carlo

[readsthemac]

Everyone knows West Yorkshire revolves round HUDDERSFIELD ;D

PS i agree Cas' is near Wakefield

[ralph2]

Ponty's the place. I nearly got a shag there just because a lass thought I was a good dancer when in fact I was dodging the fighting on the dance floor.
In the pub across the road from the night club a really fit woman (30ish) came up to me at the bar and gave me a line about how she fancied me , even though I had only been in the pub a couple of minutes, finishing the chat up line with "I have three kids, is that a problem?"

We did a shopfit in Wakefield, stayed in a caravan on a farm in Akworth and went out in Ponty. We were there during the Euro champs of 96 and had a brilliant time. I'd love a night out in Ponty again, nobody gives a fuck about anything, brilliant.

[Will_75]

i'd love to read just one month of your diaries ralph.

actually, further to your recent death, could you forward me all your papers etc, and I'll knock up your biography.

any thoughts on a title?

(extra points if avoids any reference to having your testicles lapped by a terrier*)

[njkk]

I read that as "we did Shoplifting in Wakefield, then I lived as a gypsy"

[MikR]

Arf - ace

A bloke called Ralph in a caravan in Wakefield is pure sitcom territory.

[ralph2]

I have the worlds worst memory Will, not a chance. I only thought of that because somebody mentioned Wakefield.

If there is ever a reunion of family or friends there is always a point during the night when those present reminisce about things I got up to or happened to me. maybe I should take notes. ;D

[ralph2]

njkk said:

I read that as "we did Shoplifting in Wakefield, then I lived as a gypsy"

Not far off the truth when you are shopfitting, njkk.

[michelotti]

Not far off the truth period. Plenty of shoplifting going on in Wakefield, and all the gyppos live in static vans on heath common just outside town (on the way to Ackworth actually)

[jerichoharris]

Mrs Coco used to work in a posh fabric shop in Soho. The Gypsies would come in and steal fabric, by stuffing it up their dresses. Except they would wear two dresses and put the fabric in between the two. When they were confronted and told they'd been seen shoving fabric up their dresses they would respond by lifting both dresses, giving the employees a flash of unshaved beaver and legging it out the door.

[jaymz]

I'm 22, and I e-mailed some people from BBC4 about that Motorway program.

They kept showing pcitures of Coleshill Interchange, and trying to tell me that it was Spaghetti Junction.

I were livid.

[richhtfc]

You are an odd one Jaymz.

- Ralph

[latelark]

jaymz said:

I'm 22, and I e-mailed some people from BBC4 about that Motorway program.

Unless it was something to do with computers, it's programme